Cat Scratches and Deep Losses - May 8th

 It has been a month or two of extreme ups and some very hard downs, we lost Hero in surgery, the last of our rescued Guinea pigs. That brave boy lasted through three other successful surgeries while in our care due to neglect from previous owners and had a new lease on life, sadly as age finally caught up to him it was his time to cross onto the next realm and find his brother Ghost waiting for him eagerly with treats under paw ready to share once more. Other than my wife, I had never felt a connection like I did with those two guinea pigs, they changed the way I saw the animal world forever and as I write this with them smiling up with those droopy loose lips and wide wet eyes, I really feel the loss in my chest all the same. That heavy feeling on your heart of losing an animal companion never fades, we tell ourselves it does, but the glimpses of photos and the odd memories that crop up just remind us of the comfort and love we have lost for the moment. I love you both boys, take care of yourselves and take care of each other in the next open run you get in the higher realm.

But onto Angel, I have been working at the animal rescue now for about three months (give or take), things have been going really well. The staff are nice, it is a welcome relief to be around people that have  shared interest to me (keeping animals from harm). Being able to wake up and know that my work actually does make a difference in the lives of these homeless cats and dogs has had me not dreading the working week, for probably the first time in my professional life. I know that these things often come in waves, life is funny in that way, but even if this role comes to an abrupt end through unforeseen events outside of my control, I will be happy knowing that this foothold into the only industry that hasn't had me looking for the roof to jump off has been worth while.

Back to Angel, Angel is a very sweet, white overweight domestic short haired cat that was surrendered to the charity by someone who was lacking in the department of care. Angel arrived very overweight and barely moved from her kennel when given the chance to exercise, I took some time out of every day when I could carve it and got to know her, eventually she started meowing at me and seemingly gave me the trust that I needed to get her moving around me on the floor of the cat unit. Fast forward to present day and I am very happy to say that Angel is now my cat, she sleeps on my bed and cuddles up with me on the couch of an evening, her weight has dropped off nicely and as she learns once again that she CAN jump and run, this girl is heading in the right direction. 

What I learned about myself however is that, I do not take grief well, at least with animals. I found myself completely lost when Hero passed away and although we did wait a couple of weeks, it felt like something was missing from my home. I needed that animal companion, I needed the love that animals give you by having you earn their trust and becoming their people. The guinea excavated a huge hole in my soul and without them I felt uneasy, wrong even. But while she is certainly not here to replace them, nobody could ever replace the two wonderful cavies that are memorialised forever on my arms, Angel has worked her way into my life and I hope we can help each other regain what we have lost. 

Wrapping up with some bits of unimportant news, I have finally got my new British passport and hopefully will be turning 42 countries into 43 later this year with my sights set on Ireland (Norther or Republic) for some easy adventuring before we finally decide on an Asian destination. It should be a year to unravel, I just wish my boys could be here to see it just once more.