Crash out for Christmas

Yesterday was my 33rd birthday and today I am in that weird wake that comes from celebration hangover. The day after you get whatever you want, that odd feeling of normalcy setting back in while you realise that in a short time you are back to usual until the next cycle of the planets.

It has been a bit of a stop-start month. I have fallen off from my momentum of writing that I built up over November, instead I am now writing pieces and bits as and when inspiration sets in. Which has been irregular these two weeks of December that have come and gone thus far. 

I am grateful that I finally got a break to see my family again, my niece is growing up so fast and seeing her figure out the world is one of the purest joys I think you can feel. Seeing my family, especially my parents, this time of year is always bittersweet. It just reminds me that those Christmas's have come and gone, those Christmas mornings at home as a kid where you feel that buzz of excitement the night before and wonder what presents you've been spoilt with from a list you wrote on scrap paper months ago.

This is feeling melancholy, lets get back to the quests and find our rhythm again.

The Writing

As I said in the ramblings above, I have been losing steam in the fight to finish the third Bulldog book. I am still wading through the swamp of Franks final adventure in my series that is finally coming to an end. In a way, I am back to basics, writing clean cut survival horror in the world of the crumbling UK infested with mutants and monsters. What I NEED to find is the drive in myself to keep pulverising the pages away and get it done. 

I am planning on getting a professional to handle my book covers moving forward, I like making them myself but I feel like its just a waste of my energy. Afterall, I am a writer, a good writer, but I am not a very good cover designer. That is a skillset that I could acquire, but feel it is just unnecessary while I am struggling to catch up on my writing projects.

I will get this book done. It wont be before the end of the year, but it will be before the summer of 2026.

The Reading

Tanya bought me a bundle of books from my wish list for my birthday, incredibly generous, and now I am organising the order in which I will finish them. Mostly they are explorations into stoicism and its origins. Cato, The Last Days of Rome and the collections of the only living works from the birth of the philosophy. I like these writings, they give you breathing space to learn the talents to control the chaos that life can throw up. If I could give any young people advice, it would be to go read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius'. It is the therapy before therapy, the advice before you've asked it.

Currently I am still reading through the 48 Laws of Power, its a slog and a massive book so will be a while. Its good, its not practical life advice to follow unless you are a demented red-pilled sociopath, but its great at spotting these manipulators in your own life. I am also more than half way done with 1984, the latest chapter has been good, but overall its one of the bigger literary disappointments I have had. I get it, it dreamt up ideas of the totalitarian world we see now. But anyone with a mind towards the future could see that capitalism, unchecked, will lead to this level of surveillance and control from the governments. We are dangerous in large numbers, they cant have that danger becoming unruly, so they lead us into made-up social war nonsense to distract us from the one true war we should all be fighting. The Class War.

Okay I need to get off this topic before it becomes a ranting beast I cant control.

Anything Else?

Work has been tough, just a bit of chaos while restructuring takes place, but nothing out of the ordinary. Animal care is tough, but we don't do it for the good of ourselves. We do it because if we don't, these animals suffer. 

I was given Oblivion remastered for my birthday alongside some Magic the Gathering cards, so that will keep me busy when I should be writing. But with the days off becoming more indoors due to the weather in the British winter, I will do my best to find a good balance between the slacking off and the clocking in. 

Until then! 

Treat yourself to a filthy lay in and stop eating animals, you unseemly rotund peaches.